There are few things in the world that are more awkward than a first date. But talking to your partner about money is definitely one of them.

So if you’ve avoided speaking to your partner about money because you’re scared of what the conversation could look like, you’re not alone. 

But studies show that couples who talk about money actively with their partner experience less conflict in the household about money.

So take notes Flux Fam, we’re about to take your relationship to a whole new level with these 5 simple steps.

1. Find the right time

Money is a heavy topic, and not one that should be sprung up on someone without warning; that could go sideways fast.

Set aside a time and pick a place where you’re both relaxed and have the capacity to have the conversation.

On the couch cosy with a cup of coffee? Vibe.

On the train on the way home where there’s plenty of people eavesdropping? Not so much of a vibe.

2. Breaking down each others money stories

This is where we get right into the feels.

Quick reminder: your money story is formed by the beliefs you hold about money (you might remember this from our Money Mindsets Academy). For the most part your money story depends on the role it played in your childhood.

• Did you have a lot of money growing up?
• Did your family speak openly about money at home?
• Did you see your family plan/budget/think through financial decisions?
• Were you included in any financial discussions from a young age?

These are some examples of the questions you want to ask to understand each other’s money stories. In this month’s Flux Academy, which is all about Money In Your Relationships, there’s a step by step guide on how to break down your, and your partner’s money stories.

That includes more detailed prompting questions, and strategies on how to approach the conversation to get the best value out of it.In order to move forward and have a positive connection with money in your relationship, you need to understand each other's reality when it comes to money.

3. Set goals together

While talking through each other’s money stories, you’ll probably have a lot of “ah-ha” moments where certain finance behaviours of either yourself or your partner suddenly make sense.

Having that understanding of each other's money stories means you can graduate from sharing Netflix accounts to also sharing your financial dreams together.

The easiest way to set your financial goals together is to split them into three time segments; short term goals, medium term goals, and long term goals. 

• Short term goals or “right around the corner” goals are the ones you hope to achieve within the next 12 months.

• Medium term goals are your “not too distant future” aims that you’re aiming for within the next one to five years.

• And long term goals are your “let’s grow old together” goals that you’re looking towards in the next 10-20 years.

If you’re keen on some extra guidance on how to set the right kind of goals, the Academy breaks down an example of effective goal setting, and how to ensure both yours and your partner’s needs are met when you set goals together.

4. Setting a budget to achieve your goals

Goals set? The next step is to build a budget to make those goals a reality. 

The Flux Budgeting feature will let you track your spending so that you know where you're at with your finances, and can decide what changes you want to make.

5. Build a habit around your goals

It’s great to work through these steps once, but even better if they become part of your everyday life.

Grab your calendar and set up a recurring date once a month to check in with your partner on the goals you’ve set and how you’re both feeling about money.

This way money becomes a regular topic in your relationship, and helps maintain your financial health as a couple.