The weather’s getting warmer, the flowers are blooming, and calendars are getting jam packed with wedding invites.

When you’re in your early twenties, and just starting to attend friends’ or family member’s weddings, it’s all glitter and glam.

But before you know it, you’ve got back to back weekends of wedding events, which means back-to-back weekends of spending on gifts, travel, bucks/hens parties, engagement parties, and not to mention themed outfits for each event.

Talk about a dent in the bank account!

Weddings are expensive, and not just for the bride and groom.

This is something we don’t often talk about, especially as there can often be unspoken expectations around weddings. 

But with the rise of extravagant weddings, and multi-event celebrations, the cost of hosting and attending weddings has skyrocketed too.

We wanted to get a sense of how rough the wedding season financial burden can be, so we asked the Flux Fam to give us their take.

50% of the Flux Fam often or always find themselves spending more than they’re comfortable with as a wedding guest.

And in fact, 29% of the Flux Fam have skipped a wedding in the past to avoid the added costs.

One Flux Fam member said, “I think weddings have become a huge industry and are about the money, rather than being with loved ones.”

The financial pressure of weddings can often lead to many of us making poor financial decisions in the spur of the excitement, and regretting them later.

It’s my high school friends' bucks, of course I’ll chip in for the lavish Airbnb all the guys want.

My colleague invited me to her hens and the theme is pastels? Well I’ve got to get a new dress and my nails done.

And honestly, it’s understandable.

Financial experts often advise the 50/30/20 rule, where 50% of your income goes to your needs, 30% to your wants, and 20% towards saving/investments.

Making room for weddings on top of that in a time of high cost of living is harder keeping track of the plot of Memento.

So we want to give you a few handy tips to help you out before the full blown wedding season hits.

1. Base your decisions on your budget, not social norms

This is way easier said than done, because social norms often dictate our values and how we like to be perceived in society.

But if your financial decisions are causing you to let yourself down for the sake of social norms, who’s really losing out here?

And these social norms vary across families and communities, which can make it hard to keep track of what’s the “right” approach.

You might have experienced norms on what’s an “acceptable” amount to gift to the newlyweds or the need to buy a new outfit for the occasion.

Instead of basing your decisions on what others are doing, make your wedding spending decisions based on what’s within your financial capacity.

2. Plan ahead and budget ahead

Usually wedding invites go out well in advance of the event, so you often have plenty of time to prepare in advance.

There are often unexpected costs that crop up, and the more time you give yourself to plan, the less likely you are to be caught off guard by them.

Think: wedding outfit, engagement party outfit, hens/bucks, accessories, Ubers to and from the venue…it all adds up.

Update your budget with how much you expect to spend on the wedding, so that you can pull levers and shift around your expenses as needed to accommodate the wedding spending.

Note: it’s never recommended for anyone to take out debt to fund an expense like a wedding, whether it be as a guest or as a bride/groom.

3. Openly communicate your financial boundaries

Yes it’s awkward. But it shouldn’t be.

If you’re being asked to spend more than you’re comfortable with as a wedding guest, be upfront about it.

For example, you might be asked to attend a hens or bucks getaway that really blows your budget out. 

You could have a candid conversation with the bride or groom that you’re not comfortable spending that much and make arrangements to attend for a shorter period of time.

This way, you’re not holding onto any grudges or resentment as a wedding guest either.

On the flip side, if you’re a soon-to-be bride or groom, have a conversation with your bridal party/groomsmen early on about financial boundaries.

You could make a word of a difference to someone's financial stress just by opening up that conversation.

There are always flexibilities and workaround arrangements in these seemingly sticky situations, but we need to be willing to have a conversation to find them.

Weddings are most importantly about celebrating love and there are so many ways we can do that without it having to be about money.